bullshit

Sometimes in the past, late at night, when it’s too quiet to pretend, I worry if I believe in anything at all or at least in anything beautiful. I believed in change because it is permanent. I believed in pain because it is sometimes physical. I believe in anger because it can consume you. But I was not sure I can believe in either love or trust. I could not then understand these two things most people build their dreams on.

    Love fails to be unconditional by that one condition itself. It ends when we fall out of it. Then, we claim it never was love because love shouldn’t die. It is forever. But when it becomes a routine (like saying “I love you” for instance), love does die. Lastly, when love turns selfish, confusing and burdensome, it isn’t beautiful anymore.

    As for trust, it was self-explanatory until I doubted it. When curiosity gives way to suspicion, betrayal isn’t far behind. For every failed judgment we ask ourselves: “Did I trust too little or too much?”. It is difficult to shut up every question in favor of complete trust, only to realize too late something you could have known had you only asked. Where does love and trust start and end?

    I have seen hundreds of people disappointed over unfulfilling relationships. I have seen passion turn into poison. I have grieved with them for the love they lost or never found. We seem to love so much, but now it’s gone. We ask ourselves: “Why do I feel so lonely even if he’s right beside me? Why can’t out relationship be more than this?”.

    I think all people have at one point in their life experienced the painful realization of a love unrequited. Even with all the discouragement, even with all the well-intentioned advice from friends, falling in love is a no-going-back event. Unfortunately, time can’t be reversed.

    Now, falling in love in itself is doubted by people around you. They cannot feel the warmth that consumes you. They cannot ache with the turbulent and confusing anxiety and joy that grips you. They do not know that mental stress you experience trying to rationalize your emotions. They cannot believe that you do not want to be in love with a person who doesn’t love you back. Oftentimes, people in love are painted as puppies following their loved ones at a distance and enjoying it. Oftentimes, people in love are misunderstood. (more…)

confession

thinking bout u as a summer romance once blown by the summer heat would be a kinda “light” approach to what’s been happening in our lives nowadays. least is the unexpected i would say. summer crash…summer crash. ive been selfish not thinking bout these risks of fallin too fast, no boundaries at all. i know.. im insane. im suicidal.. i dunno how its gonna end.. i just know that things as of now are out of my hands.. gone is the past that is cold as ice. im now out of my seashell… free from my self… im not scared to dare for life anymore. thanks to you.

Alipin

Shamrock

Di ko man maamin
Ikaw ay mahalaga sa akin
Di ko man maisip
Sa pagtulog ikaw ang panaginip
Malabo man ang aking pag-iisip
Sana”y pakinggan mo ang sigaw nitong damdamin

[chorus:]
Ako”y alipin mo kahit hindi batid
Aaminin ko minsan ako”y manhid
Sana at iyong nariring
Sayong yakap ako”y nasasabik…

Ayoko sa iba
Sayoako ay hindi magsasawa
Ano man ang iyong sabihin
Umasa ka ito ay diringgin
Madalas man na parang aso”t pusa
Giliw sa piling mo ako ay masaya

[chorus:]
Ako”y alipin mo kahit hindi batid
Aaminin ko minsan ako”y manhid
Sana at iyong nariring
Sayong yakap ako”y nasasabik…

[coda:]
Pilit mang abutin ang mga tala
Basta”t sa akin wag kang mawawala

Ako”y alipin mo kahit hindi batid
Aaminin ko minsan ako”y manhid
Sana ay iyong naririnig
Sayong yakap ako”y nasasabik
Pagkat ikaw lang ang nais makatabi
Malamig man o mainit ang gabi
Nais ko sana iparating na ikaw lamang
Ang siyang aking iibigin

** nakakainlab talaga

unconditional love

there were 2 fishes in a bowl. they both enjoyed living together. they were contented with each others presence. they soon fell inlove. but as time went by, the other was not as inlove as before. she dint enjoy the things they used to do. coz of that, the other fish knew and felt the coldness of their relationship.  he was terribly hurt coz she was his only world.

one day, he was seen with his eyes closed, floating like a lifeless body. he was taken out of the bowl and was replaced by a new one. but before his body was  raised, he slowly opened his eyes and whispered..

“hope he makes you happy.”