you fucking broke it..

i hate you for coming into my life..
for bring me to the beach,
for showing me how beautiful every sunset was with you.

i despise it when you take my hand
and make your weird tiny fingers fit my long, slim fingers,
coz i believed that it means were meant to be.

i abhor you when you call me all the time..
and you dont mind me placing you on hold..
as long as i know that you miss me..

i loathe it when you said you werent the type who sends flowers,
coz i wanted so bad to have even just once stem..
and you went out of your way to bring 3 pots of tulips at gateway.

i resented the fact that you wont even write me a love letter,
when almost every guy i was with showered my with poems..
so you bought me “the prophet” by gibran.

i was devastated when you didnt want to go shopping with me..
you knew you woud be a bag boy,
but you stayed with me the whole day going around the mall.

its nauseating when you dont make your own decisions,
its always me, me, me.
you always let me decide for us.

i was always bothered when you let me win every argument,
i wanted you to be the man..
but you always let me be right.

thats why i was shocked when you said you were leaving…
i loathe you for not telling me why…
i hate you for making me believe that everything was ok.
i despise you for never clearly answering my questions,
for making me live in a dreamworld..
where everything was perfect between us.

im sorry if i dont want to be friends.
i cant stand acting like nothing happened.
the question if you ever really loved me keeps haunting me every damn day.
coz after all that.. i dont believe you no more.

yes its true,
with you i have never felt so happy,
but with you as well,
i have never felt so betrayed.

someday
i swear
ill forget
every breath we took
together.

as of now..
ill be content..
missing you..
and hating you..
and wishing you were dead.