Saying goodbye to fidel castro
Friday, May 12, 2006
As an elderly Russian man lay in his hospital bed dying, he became delusional.
He asked his nurse to help fulfill his last wish.
“I was good friends with Nikita Khrushchev,” he said.
“I’d do anything to kiss him good-bye.”
“Khrushchev?” the nurse said.” He’s been dead a long time”
“I dont care, I want to kiss him good bye,” the man said.
Remembering Khrushchev was bald, the nurse pulled her breast out of her bra
and offered the left one.
“He is kneeling before you” the nurse said.
“His head is near your lips.”
The man grabbed her breast and said good bye old friend.
“Good to see you again.”
He kissed the breast , which the nurse enjoyed greatly.
She then asked “How about kissing Dick Cheney?”
The old man kissed and stroked her breast.
The nurse felt herself getting moist and asked,” Have you met Fidel Castro “?
Sana ako na lang..
Sana ako na lang ang unan mo
na niyayakap mo gabi-gabi.
Sana ako na lang ang panyo mo
na ipinampupunas mo sa iyong pawis.
Sana ako na lang ang kumot mo
na kasama mo sa malalamig na gabi
Sana ako na lang ang baso mo
na dinadapuan ng iyong labi.
Sana ako na lang ang alaga mong aso
na binibigyan mo ng halaga.
Sana ako na lang ang lapis mo
na nahahawakan ng iyong kamay.
Sana ako na lang ang relos mo
na tinititighan mo bawat sandali.
Sana ako na lang ang mga bituin
na nagpapalitaw sa iyong ngiti.
Sana ako na lang ang hangin
na kinakailangan mo para mabuhay.
Sana ako na lang..
Hindi sya…
My vow to you
I vow to be ever loyal to you.
I vow to realize sunrise only when my eyes set upon your face and sunset when you lay asleep in my arms with your relax and steady breathing.
I vow that my smile is only for you and the many things that you do that make my face split in a contented, blissful grin. A smile that can only rival the previous one.
I vow to catch every word that comes from your perfect lips. To be sensitive and to be caring. To pay attention to every detail. May it be “I’m wearing jeans” when i ask you if you wearing pants.
I vow to be your shield to be your strength. I promise to be your pillow when you get drunk not because of the Gin Blue that we are drinking but because of the elation that I am in rapport with your family. I promise to hold you in my arms if you had too much slammer and to always say “Thank You!” when you repeatedly say “Happy Birthday!”.
I vow to renew my love to you every minute of every day. You never fail to make me fall for you again ang again and again…
I thank you for choosing me.
I vow to be yours forever.
** someday.. i swear.. im gonna read this to someone.. someday.. *sigh*
separated
One word to make you come back
One line to make you stay
One verse to make you fall in love again
One song to sing til the night is over
But if you still don’t believe me
I will repeat them until they echo
In the deepest portal of your soul
What secrets did I learn
That made you refuse me now?
Is it her, is it your past, or
Is it your uncertain future?
Every night I still pray
To the god of the dance
To the god of the songs
So I can find the right words
And melodies
To make you come back
Without really noticing
Without really understanding
I always leave the door ajar
And the windows unlatched
Thinking that you will still come back
Though now we are miles apart.
HOW MEN & WOMEN SHOWER
How To Shower Like a Woman:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and le! gs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man:
