*Love affairs - Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

*Marriage - It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

*Divorce - Future tense of marriage

*Lecture - An art of transferring information from the notes of  the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

*Conference - The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

*Compromise - The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

*Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

*Dictionary - A place where divorce comes before marriage.

*Conference Room - A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

*Ecstasy  - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

*Classic - A book which people praise, but do not read.

*Smile - A curve that can set a lot of things straight

*Office - A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

*Yawn - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

*Etc… - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

*Committee - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

*Experience - The name men give to their mistakes.

*Atom Bomb - An invention to end all inventions.

*Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

*Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

*Opportunist - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

*Optimist - A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

*Pessimist - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

*Miser -  A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

*Father - A banker provided by nature.

*Criminal - A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.

*Boss - Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

*Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

*Doctor - A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.