100 Great Reasons to be a MAn (and how i feel about it)

1.Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.(that i hate.. i love talking.. so when i call you.. talk to me!)
2.Movie nudity is virtually always female.(ahm hhmm not anymore)

3.You know stuff about tanks.
4.A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. (eeek!)
5.Monday Night Football.
6.You don’t have to monitor your friends’ sex lives. (hhmm)
7.Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. (some guys can be so vain to u know.. hey my cousin applys pearl cream on his face and he’s not gay!!)
8.You can open all your own jars.
9.Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained weight. (hu hu hu)
10.Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind.
11.When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12.Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. (yeah it is haha.. wait till i be yer supervisor lol )
13.All your orgasms are real. (heck. like theres a reason to fake it?)
14.A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15.Guys in hockey masks don’t attack you.
16.You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. (haha)
17.You understand why “Stripes” is funny.
18.You can go to the bathroom without a support group. (that thing we do.. its a girl thing)
19.Jennifer Anniston

20.Your last name stays put.
21.You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
22.When your work is criticized, you don’t panic that everyone secretly hates you. (stones have more feelings than men)
23.You can kill your own food. (but can u cook ur own food?)
24.The garage is all yours.
25.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. (tsk tsk)
26.You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
27.Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
28.You never have to clean the toilet. (not in my bathroom)
29.You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes. (i can too!)
30.Sex never means worrying about your reputation.
31.Wedding plans take care of themselves.
32.If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
33.Your underwear costs $10 for a three-pack.
34.The National College Cheerleading Championship
35.None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
36.You don’t have to shave below your neck.
37.You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
38.If you’re 34 and single nobody notices.
39.You can write your name in the snow.
40.You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. (id like to see that)
41.Everything on your face stays its original color.
42.Chocolate is just another snack.
43.You can be President.
44.You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
45.Flowers fix everything. (yeah they do hihi *wink wink*)
46.You never have to worry about other people’s feelings. (hell!!)
47.You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. (no comment lol)
48.You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
49.Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
50.You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

51.You can say anything and not worry about what people think. (are men really that insensitive? tsk tsk)
52.Foreplay is optional. (its a requirement!)
53.Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe. (duh he doesnt! tom cruise does)
54.Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
55.You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. (yum!)
56.You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.(haha! )
57.You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
58.Car mechanics tell you the truth.
59.You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
60.You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking “He must be mad at me”
61.You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62.You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63.Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. (haha!)
64.One mood, all the time. (like i said.. a stone has more feelings)
65.You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66.You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too seedy.
67.You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68.You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69.Same work….more pay.
70.Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71.You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72.Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73.You don’t care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74.With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth’s population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75.You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.
76.If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
77.The remote is yours and yours alone.
78.People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
79.ESPN’s Sportscenter.
80.You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81.Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82.You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83.You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84.You needn’t pretend you’re “freshening up” to go to the bathroom.
85.If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell your friends you’ve changed.
86.Someday you’ll be a dirty old man.
87.You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase “F*ck it!”
88.If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89.Princess Di’s death was just another obituary.
90.The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91.You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you’re not in the mood.
92.You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93.If something mechanical didn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94.New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95.Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96.You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.
97.Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with her.
98.Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So… notice anything different?”
99.Baywatch
100.There is always a game on somewhere.