LITTLE JOEY’S ADVENTURES

LITTLE JOEY ON ….. PHILOSOPHY:

A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little Joey.

He replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot.”

The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then little Joey says “I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, “Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”

To which Little Joey replied, “The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.”

———

LITTLE JOEY ON ….. MATH:

Little Joey returns from school and says he got an “F” in arithmetic. “Why?” asks the father?”

“The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3′, I said “6″ replies Joey.

“But that’s right!” replies the father.

“Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?’, states Joey.

“What’s the fucking difference?” asks the father.

“That’s what I SAID!!” shouts Joey.

———-

LITTLE JOEY ON ….. ENGLISH:

Little Joey goes to school, and the teacher says,

“Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.

Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”

Joey says “Mas-tur-bate.” Miss Rogers smiles, and trying to keep her composure and says, “Wow, Joey, that’s a mouthful.”

Little Joey says, “No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob”

———-

LITTLE JOEY ON ….. GRAMMAR:

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful ” in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”Very good, Suzie, “replied the teacher.

She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully.” he said. “Excellent, Michael!”, praised the teacher, glowing that her lesson plan was succesful.

Then, the teacher called on little Joey. Joey responded, “Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful,…just fucking beautiful!”

———-

LITTLE JOEY ON… HIKING:

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike. “Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300,” he asked.

“Easy, Dad,” little Joey replied. “I earned it hiking.”

“Come on Joey,” the father said. “Tell me the truth.”

“That is the truth!” Joey replied. “Every night you were gone, Mom’s boss, Mr. Reynolds, would come over to see Mom.

He’d give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!”

———-

FOR MORE OF JOEY’S ESCAPADES.. CLICK THE LINK BELOW  

LITTLE JOEY SKIPS A GRADE:

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.The teacher asked, “Joey what is your problem?” Joey answered, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the
third grade and I’m smarter than she is!! I think I should be in the third grade too!” The teacher had had enough. She took Joey to the principal’s office. While Joey waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was… The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Joey was brought in and the conditions are explained to him and he agrees to take the test.

Principal: ” What is 3×3?”

Joey: “9″

Principal: “What is 6 x 6 ?”

Joey: “36″

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, “I think Joey can go to the third grade,”

The teacher says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?” The principal and Joey both agree. The teacher asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?”

Joey, after a moment, “legs”

Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

The principal’ eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Joey replied, “Pockets”.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Joey in the fifth grade, I missed the last two questions”.

———-

LITTLE JOEY: FIREWAN WANNABE

A man was walking on the sidewalk and noticed up ahead that Little Joey was wearing a red fireman’s hat and sitting in a red wagon. It appeared that the wagon was being pulled very
slowly by a large German Shepherd. When he got closer to the lad, he noticed that Little Joey had a rope tied around the dog’s testicles, which probably accounted for why the dog was walking so gingerly.

Smiling, he spoke to the little boy, “That’s really a nice fire engine you have there, son. But I’ll bet the dog would pull you faster if you tied that rope around his neck.”

“Yeah, sure” Little Joey replied, “but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

———-

LITTLE JOEY’S FASHION SENSE

Little Joey comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Joey seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls,” and would his mother, “please sit down and have a talk with Joey about this.”

So Joey’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door. “First, Joey, I want you to take off my blouse…” So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.

“Ok, now take off my skirt…” and he takes off her skirt. “Now take off my bra…” which he does. “And now, Joey, please take off my panties.” And when Joey finishes removing those,
she says,

“Joey, PLEASE don’t wear any of my clothes to school any more!”

———-

LITTLE JOEY ON RECITATION:

One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. “Now class, I’m going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell me what fruit I’m talking about.”

“Okay, first: it’s round, plumb and red.” Of course, Joey raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely, ignored him and picked Jenny, who promptly answered “An apple.”

“No Jenny, it’s a beet, but I like your thinking. Now, for the second. It’s soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish.” Well, Joey is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get
the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on
Billy.”Is it a peach?”

“No, Billy, I’m afraid it’s a potato. But I like you’re thinking.

Here’s another: it’s long, yellow, and fairly hard.”

By now, Joey is about to expolde as he waves his hand frantically.

The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. “A banana,” she says. “No,” the teacher replies, “it’s a squash, but I like your thinking.”

Joey is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. “Hey, I’ve got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I’ve got it: it’s round, hard, and it’s got a head on
it.”

“Joey!” she cries. “That’s disgusting!”

“Nope,” answers Joey, “it’s a quarter, but I like your thinking!”