1st year crisis

fer 2 weeks already ive been having this sorta “crisis” at my job.. ive always known what i want.. ive always been professional enough not to have other things affect my job.. however for the past days.. i was having this feeling where i dint want to work.. i dint want to take in any calls or call even hear anyone rant.. i juz felt so freakin tired of everything already. im tired being depended on.. tired doing ‘good’.. tired performing well.. tired going to work.. tired seeing all those faces.. tired waking up juz to get to my friggin job..

fer days i was irate on the phone.. i know i was bein difcult.. amazingly.. mushy was right there through it all.. he would often tell me that patience was a virtue.. heck.. ive been working on that since time immemorial.. im hopeless..i dont understand this myself.. ive kept jobs fer like 3 years.. and i never really had any issues like this..

my friend was telling me that im becoming so emotionally involved already thats why.. she told me that what i thought i was feeling was exactly the opposite of what i really felt.. and i was like.. huh? what are u talking about.. i still havent figured out what i would do actually.. i have applied to different jobs and ive had how many calls already.. being scheduled fer several interviews and exams.. *sigh*.. would i really leave baguio? am i really capable of living my sanctuary ive been loving fer about 10 years now? am i ready to take the leap of faith and lose myself by working in the “big city”?.. sshhussh its juz manila.. not like ive never been there.. uhuh i have.. but ive never been really that far away from home and lived alone fer more than a week! and another issue is i dont wanna live wiv my titas.. argh.. so there goes the next problem.. *sigh*

until then.. to be continue..