its sad when the people you know become people you knew, when you cant walk right past someone as if they were never a big part of your life..how you used to be able to talk for hours, and now you can barely even look at them. its just sad how things change, so much.

Home » Archives » 21. November 2005

on love and pain

Monday, November 21, 2005

The best part of being in love with someone is being convinced that the person will be with us forever. Most of us start relationships believing in the promise of love without end. Unfortunately, not all relationships end the way we want them to.

To some, love comes in a fleeting moment and goes just as fast. But getting over the feeling always seems to take a lifetime, because the only person who can heal the pain is usually the very same person who hurt us and made us cry. Sometimes just as we are about to accept the failure of our relationship, that person comes back to us and unknowingly destroys our defenses. Suddenly, we find ourselves hooked on love again. And it hurts even more because we know that person doesn’t share the same feeling anymore. Even if there is the urge to forget because it hurts, there would always be that compelling reason to hope for love to come back. It is like waiting for the sun to shine in the middle of a storm.

The love that brings us pain should be the same love that would heal our hearts. When
you love so much that it begins to hurt, then you have to learn to let go to lessen your pain. Love hurts, and sometimes it hurts like there is no tomorrow. But there still is and there will always be one. No matter how battered and stricken we have been, there will always be a tomorrow that will bring hope and love. But that tomorrow will never come unless we leave the past behind and live today as we should.

Let the pain remain for a while and let the tears fall as they please. Then after all that,
move on and find your place in this world where you will feel that everything is going to be all right.

Posted by mushy at 8:30 pm | permalink | View this entry

my summer solstice

It was 4 am and still she was awake. She was starry-eyed, but not because she couldnt sleep. She was trying hard to fight back the dew drops falling down her cheek. Everything was throbbing.. body, heart and mind.

He juz closed the door, and her heart smashed in it.

She dint know what to feel.

Disoriented, she fidgets for her phone. Stares at it, then decides to shut it off instead. She wakes up few hours, pillow drenched… with a real bad headache. Shes gonna party today shesays. Being alone and unattached aint that bad. Yet when the music started playin,she hears one of their so many songs, and alas, she cries.

She couldnt believe she still had tears left.

It was all going back to her. how he systematically turned her life around with his presence,how his voice intoxicated her. Clinging on to whats left of her hear life,she shuts those visions off. Enough. But she knew that the person she was tryin to ferget was the only one she needed to ease the pain.

Perhaps erything wasnt as cosmic as she thought after all.

She wanted to look for sumone to blame but she knew too well that she wont find anyone.
She crafted her own sweet suicide. And yet amidst of it all,she still craves being lost in his arms. The only choice should be to flatiron all hopes of bali until she was numb. If only she can unlearn loving him, she would. Then later on perhaps she can unlearn how to cry, how to block the visions of their hands entertwined, how to numb her skin from reliving the feel of his touch, the warmth of his breath, the comfort of his arms.

Yeah she can ferget him. Of course. Yeah.

Posted by mushy at 7:50 pm | permalink | View this entry

A TOUCH NEVER FELT

** one of me fave poems

Author: Carola Dittmann McJunkin

How can you ache and crave for someone’s touch
When you have never felt it?
I do this for yours, though,
 And the yearning grows more each day

I have never wanted anything in my life
As much as I want you
When you whisper such sweet love
 In my ear when we talk

You make me melt into a puddle
Of complete helplessness
You have become my every waking thought
 And my every dream at night

I breathe in so hard
Trying to catch my breath when we can’t talk
I close my eyes so tight
 Hoping when I open them you will be there

But I know I have to wait
Until the time is right
It seems so far away
 That I think I am losing my mind

I want to breathe in your scent
And keep it with me all day long
I want to taste your love for me
 By kissing your sweet lips

I want to feel your body next to me
So when you leave for awhile I can hold on
I just want you to know
 That I really do love you

When the day comes and we are together
You will always know and feel this
I will always hug, kiss and love you
 Every moment of the day and night

…You will never have another touch unfelt

Posted by mushy at 7:47 pm | permalink | View this entry

LoSs

Real loss only occurs

when you lose something that you love

more than yourself.

 

Posted by mushy at 7:45 pm | permalink | View this entry

on LoVe

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn’t really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go!

You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if his or her happiness means that you’re not part of it.

Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn’t love you back, don’t be afraid to love someone else again, for you’ll never know unless you give it a try. You’ll never love a person you love unless you risk for love.

Love strives in hurting. If you don’t get hurt, you don’t learn how to love. Love doesn’t hurt all the time, though the hurting is still there to test you and to help you grow. Don’t find love, let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love because you don’t force yourself to fall. You just fall.

You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves.

On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. But don’t ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.To love is to risk rejections; to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risking nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self; to love is to risk not to be loved in return.

How to love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.

Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.

Loving people means giving them the freedom that they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that these were the things which helped you grow.Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you’ll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love.

Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you’re not ready to cry,if you’re not ready to take the risk, if you’re not ready to feel the pain, then you’re not ready to fall in love. There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love because every time we do, we get hurt, then I figured that’s why it’s called falling in love. When you decide to love, allow it to grow. When you promise to love, refuse to let it die!

Posted by mushy at 7:40 pm | permalink | View this entry

find a guy…

who calls you beautiful instead of hot…
who calls you back when you hang up on him…
who will stay awake just to watchyou sleep…
who kisses your forehead…
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats…
who holds your hand in front of his friends…
who is constantly reminding you of  how much he cares about you
and says how lucky he is to have you…
who turns to his friends and says, “…that’s her.”

Posted by mushy at 5:50 pm | permalink | View this entry

for you


In my weakness,
you are my strength,
in the dark,
you are my guiding light,
the joy of all my being
is the kindness of your whole being.
one look into your precious eyes
tells me how blessed i am.
can love like this truly exist?
it all just seems surreal.
but it is real…
and such a perfect love
I have found in your arms
the comfort of your presence
keeps me feeling safe and warm
your soft caresses on my face
lets me know you care,
reassurancing me that my struggles
shouldnt be too much for me to bear
you are my life,
you are my soul.
my love,
my heart…
i love you

Posted by mushy at 5:37 pm | permalink | View this entry